My sister and I attended Michele's yoga class. Michele is incredibly nurturing and offers a distinct maternal energy, so I felt very comfortable and supported in her presence.
I thought about canceling my class, but I am so happy I showed up. What kind of teacher would I be if I only chose to serve when it was convenient for me? This is what the practice is about - showing up and doing our best. It wasn't until everyone was in Savasana that I felt overwhelmed with sadness. All day I had avoided my broken heart and in that moment, it was inevitable. Without allowing myself to fall apart, I touched the sadness, the loneliness, and the fears that have developed since losing my father. I touched on it, but didn't lose myself in it. If I lose myself in anything these days, I only want it to be love for the Divine.
The highlight of the day was definitely our fire ceremony. I feel so blessed to have open-minded people around me. Throughout the puja I looked around the circle at the beings who had gathered and felt such an intense from of love and gratitude. A couple of them have been in my life for over ten years and there were a couple of new friends in the circle as well, however, I know it wasn't the first time our five souls sat in a circle together.
I wasn't able to to dive super deep, partially because I was concerned with everyone else's experience, but it was still enough to stir up something with me. I don't know how much of it was because of old samskaras, or if it was caused by a deep sense of knowing that this is the beginning of something bigger than all of us.
Tonight as I sit here contemplating lessons from the Hindu scriptures, I am reminded that is is all here to bring me back to the Divine. I feel this sacred Truth all the way into the depth of my bones, yet I have so many moments of ignorance. I keep coming back though. I keep reconnecting to this Truth and I pray for Grace to carry me away.
